Sometimes its just hard

There are times when you are an adoptive parent that it can be very lonely.  Those are the times when one of your children is going through something that most "normal" parents just don't understand.  I am not in any way being condescending - for I do not see that we are better or even different, but sometimes it is hard.  When children of trauma suddenly regress to a stage they missed out of nowhere, when middle of the night memories of being hurt hit, or when their years of rage take over its hard to find someone who just can listen without judging that there is something wrong with your kid.  We know there is something that needs fixing - but fixing doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't mean your kid is damaged goods.  I find that teachers seem to understand this least of all.  Trust me, I know that they have a lot on their minds and they have one of the hardest jobs.  But rather than become a participant in the solution, I find so many teachers just want to give up because one of the kids is behind or requires "different" attention.  Don't they understand that their self esteems have been pulverized by years of being told they are nothing - no good - should have never been born?

Of course, there are the exceptions to the rules.  But I think we fail so many of our children, not just adopted and foster, but different ones that don't respond to the yelling and typical discipline.  I struggle every day to find the right mix with each of my boys.  Each of them requires something completely different.

Okay, I will get off my soapbox - been a rough week or so but coming out the other side I can say more lessons learned, more bonding and another step in healing my children.