Two steps forward - three back

Its been a week.  For some reason our lil guy is really crossing boundaries at school.  Between not listening to teachers and just plain doing unacceptable behaviors, he really is testing his boundaries.  This comes at the same time that BudD has decided he doesn't want to participate in PE and that is knocking down his participation grade.  UGH

It seems that parenting is all about trying to say a step ahead and plan for what behaviors could come.  There really are no down days - in fact the days when you are exhausted, thats exactly when the blind side comes!

Its been 6 months since we finalized now.  Wow - only 6 months, seems so very much longer.  Seems like we have had them forever, yet its been less than a year since we met them.  Sometimes I forget that and get hard on myself.  I think that is one of the hardest thing about adopting.  There is no ramp up time to parenting like when you have a baby - instead you have these walking, talking (sometimes talking back!) kids that need direction and boundaries - and as a new parent sometimes you just plain do it wrong.  The learning curve is incredibly steep and there isn't a lot of support in the community and schools.  These kids that have years of trauma to overcome are judged in minutes.  They are labeled as different, socially inept, rude and even mean.  As an adoptive parent I know I am fighting battles unique to my kids.  Will it be worth in in the end - yes I believe that with all my heart.  But sometimes - I do get so tired and discouraged - I feel like I am not a great mom, or that I could have done so much better.  I know it may not be true - but when you are in public and no matter how hard you have worked with your kids they do something socially unacceptable, its tough.  Anyways - enough dwelling.

There is of course good news - Mr T's grades have significantly come up now that we are at the new school.  He seems to be adjusting well overall - still some sneakiness but like I said - staying one step ahead is the key.

Its funny how I look back on the lesson's my mom taught me the hard way.  At the time I was so mad!  But I look at my life now - never had any serious troubles - never did drugs, always had a moral compass - and I think, thank God she didn't care if I "liked" her at the time - she took her job seriously and made sure I understood that every choice I made mattered - and one bad choice could seriously alter the course of my life.  I pray that I am starting to get that through to my boys.